


New Type of Nausea

by transboykobrakid (Lucipoo)



Series: Just Gals Being Pals [1]
Category: My Chemical Romance, The Used
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Genderqueer Character, Other, Trans Character, Underage Drinking, genderqueer Bert, trans girl Gerard
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-05
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-15 01:26:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10547692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lucipoo/pseuds/transboykobrakid
Summary: Bert was a loner kid with no friends and an annoying amount of rib pain, Gee was a drama kid who everyone loved and who was overwhelmingly outgoing, who says they cant fall in lesbians with each other?(aka the trans/nb lesbian gerbert high school au thatliterally no onethree people asked for)





	

**Author's Note:**

> the reason it's tagged f/f and other is because Bert is genderqueer and somewhat woman aligned, but they also aren't 100% female so that's why i also made it tagged "other" (but theyre a big ol lesbian and so is Gee so its a good time)
> 
> anyways!! i hope u enjoy :^)

Bert was getting sick again, they could feel it. It felt like their brain was made of cotton and their insides wanted nothing more than to jump out of Bert's body. They were fed up of just lying in bed all day, they wanted to do something with their time. If only they had any friends, instead of being a loser who isolated themselves from everyone the minute they hit high school.

It wasn't their fault that no one else made any goddamn sense to them.

Bert sat up in bed, but immediately regretted it. Their head was pounding and their eyesight was going out, they could only see a little bit of their room and even that looked different than it should. God, they hated being sick.

They decided to just get up and go for a walk. Bert had heard from listening in on people's conversations that there was gonna be some big party at one of the drama kids- Gee, they thought the girl's name was- house, so maybe they could find it and crash the place, get blurry vision from alcohol and not from whatever the hell was wrong with them. Their online friends said it was malnutrition, but Bert tried to squash that little piece of information from their brain.

Bert finally built up the strength to stand up and made their way over to their mirror. They looked like shit, their long hair looking greasy and dirty, a tangled mess hanging past their shoulders. They looked paler than a ghost, but with dark circles under their eyes and sunken cheeks that made them look more like a skeleton. They looked disgusting, and they didn't want to look at themselves anymore.

How were they ever able to leave their room, when they looked like a monster?

Bert threw on a flannel over the shirt they had been wearing, and changed from sweatpants to a pair of ripped up jeans. They were still wearing a corset from earlier, something they put on regularly as a way to manage the pain they always had in their ribs. It was frustrating, because the corsets always made their already too girly curves more obvious, but they would rather that than the aches and shooting pains they got otherwise. It wasn't a perfect fix, but at least it was something.

They also decided to quickly put on a red lipstick that they had bought themselves a month ago- after they had found a five dollar bill on the ground- and then they were ready to go. They also quickly grabbed a pack of cigarettes and shoved it in their pocket, figuring they might need a smoke if things get too stressful.

Bert’s parents were out somewhere, doing who knows what. They didn't really pay any attention to their parents anymore- if they didn't know anything about Bert, why should Bert know anything about them?

Plus, it’s better to keep them in the dark anyways. Bert was pretty sure their mom would have a heart attack if she ever actually learned anything about Bert, other than the fact that they never bathe, never eat, and also don't have any friends. Bert was basically the worst possible child anyone could ask for, yet they didn't ask to exist either, so really everyone was fucked in this situation.

They made their way down the street, taking out a cigarette and their lighter to do something to pass the time. They knew they shouldn't smoke, especially considering the troubles with their ribs, but they couldn't be bothered to actually care about that. They mindlessly tugged on the corset from underneath their shirt and sighed. Who the fuck decided ribs would be a good idea?

The smoke drifted around them as they walked, and Bert was starting to feel light headed. This always happened when they smoked, in fact smoking often caused them to just pass out from getting too dizzy and light headed, but they also couldn't help loving the feeling. And if they end up waking up in their backyard with a burnt out cigarette in their hand again, then that's the price to pay.

Bert seemed to only be walking for a few minutes, but next thing they knew they were approaching the house that was having the party. There was a few cars parked out on the street, and music playing loudly from inside. Bert didn't even know if it was a big party, but they were to out of it to care.

They walked up to the house and opened the door, letting themselves in and hoping no one questioned why they were there. Everyone seemed to be in the kitchen, though, so no one noticed Bert coming in uninvited. The house was pretty big, but definitely old too. A lot of the pictures and art on the walls was covered in dust, and Bert made a mental note that people seemed to also be in the living room.

Bert made their way towards the kitchen, hoping there would be some alcohol for them to take. There was a girl sitting on the counter, drinking a beer and talking to a guy who was going through the fridge. The girl had shoulder length black hair that was curled a bit at the bottom. She was wearing a tie dye crop top and a black miniskirt, a pair of oversized sunglasses was sitting on top of her head. The boy looked much taller than the girl, but that could've just been because he was standing up and she wasn't. He had long, curly brown hair and was wearing a plain black t shirt and blue jeans.

Bert was about to turn and leave, panicking and realizing that maybe this wasn't their smartest idea, but before they could go the girl turned to them and said, “Hey, don't we have math together? What's your name again?”

Bert froze up, not sure how to reply. Obviously the most common response to that would just be for them to say their name, but they had suddenly forgotten their name so instead they said, “I don't know.”

The girl laughed and rolled her eyes, saying, “Oh shush, you know your name, just tell me. Wait! Or I can guess it!”

“Gee, you're fucking terrible at guessing, just let her say her own name,” The guy said, laughing as he pulled a tray of jello shots out of the fridge.

The girl- Gee, apparently- rolled her eyes and looked back at Bert, saying, “So, what's your name?”

“It's Bert,” They replied, not even caring that these kids obviously would know them by their deadname, “Can I have one of those?” They asked, gesturing at where the guy had placed the jello shots.

“Sure, go for it,” The guy shrugged, then added, “Oh, I'm Ray, by the way. I'm assuming you know Gee considering you're in her house right now.”

“Mhm, definitely know her,” Bert mumbled, almost kore to themselves than to Ray. It wasn't a complete lie, they did vaguely know who Gee Way was, but try had never actually talked to her. It was pretty hard to not know who she was, considering she was an extremely loud and extremely dramatic well, drama kid. She always seemed to have the lead in whatever school plays they put on, and from what Bert had heard, she deserved those parts.

“I swear we have a class together! You look so familiar, but I can't place from where,” Gee said, getting off the counter to go closer to Bert.

Bert just shrugged, “Maybe you've just seen me around.”

“Maybe, but this is really bugging me,” Gee grinned and poked Bert's cheek, adding, “I will figure out who you are, my guy.”

She then turned back to grab her beer and leave the room, followed by Ray who seemed to now be more interested in talking about some musical- Bert was pretty sure they heard him say something about Wicked.

Now that Bert was alone, they just sat on the kitchen floor and took more jello shots than they could count. They knew the minute they stood up they probably would puke, but they couldn't find any reason to care. Maybe it'd suck to puke on Gee’s kitchen floor, she was pretty cute, but she would probably forget about Bert's existence by tomorrow. Hell, she probably has forgotten about them already. They never really made any impression on people.

Someone came in at some point, but Bert wasn't sure who it was. They were still just sitting on the floor, although they had stopped doing the shots a while ago. The person left, maybe without even seeing Bert at all. Sometimes being invisible paid off.

Bert figured they probably should get off the floor now, though. They didn't wanna pass out on a kitchen floor, that would do absolutely nothing good for them. The good part of all this alcohol in them, was now they had a way to be distracted by all those nasty sickly feelings they had been having. They used the kitchen counter to stand up, and immediately were hit with a massive wave of nausea. They stood still for a minute, clinging to the counter and willing themselves not to vomit.

Once it had subsided enough, they slowly got themselves a cup of water, having to pause every now and then so they wouldn't throw up. They finally were able to drink the water, and already they felt slightly less nauseous, maybe now they could actually explore the party a bit.

There were more people than Bert had realized, and wow it was loud. Every single movement was making their head scream at them, and they just wanted to cry. They really needed to find better things to do when they were bored than just getting drunk.

Bert was walking through the living room, now mostly just trying to find the way out. It was so loud, so many bodies brushing up against them. It was getting to be too much, and they just wanted to go home and sleep.

But before they could make it out of the living room, Gee stopped them, saying, “Hey, Bert! Where’ve you been? I haven't seen much of you all night!”

Bert noticed that she was slurring slightly, and that she seemed wobbly when she stood up. So Bert wasn't the only drunk person, that's good. They didn't even know how long they had been in the kitchen, so really hours could've gone by and they would have no idea.

Gee reached out and grabbed Bert’s hand, looking disappointed and asking, “You're not leaving, right?”

Bert shrugged, “Yeah, I was plannin’ on leaving, why do you care?”

Gee grinned and draped her arms over Bert's shoulders, replying, “You're cute, at least give me your number.”

Bert blushed crimson, they definitely were not expecting her to say that. Someone behind the two of them yelled something about how they should “put on a show, sweethearts.” Gee turned around and immediately punched the guy in the face. Bert was in love.

“Get out of my house, you creep!” Gee yelled, as Ray got up and pushed the guy to leave. Gee then turned back towards Bert and grinned, saying, “So, your number?”

Her knuckles were still bloody from punching the guy, a look of glee across her face as if she got joy from giving an asshole what he deserved. Bert shrugged and chewed on their lip nervously, saying, “Maybe I can stay a bit longer.”

Gee grinned and tugged Bert down onto one of the couches, “Good! You can join us in talking about what musicals are the best and how Ray is most likely wrong.”

\-----

It was late in the night now, people were starting to leave or pass out on various surfaces around the house. Bert was still sitting with Gee in the living room, although now they were distracted because Gee was sitting on their lap and kept turning around to play with their hair. They both were still drunk, neither of them having stopped drinking at any point during the night.

Bert hadn't even processed that Gee was kissing them until she started tugging at their hair, than suddenly they were hit with how good this was and oh fuck kissing was amazing. They didn't want to think about why Gee was kissing them, they didn't want to think at all. They also didn't want to know how Gee would react to this when she got sober, or if she would even remember doing this.

The two of them had been kissing for what seemed like hours, when they were finally interrupted by Ray yelling, “Get a room!” at them. Bert blushed and pulled away from Gee, finally fully realizing what was happening. Multiple people were still in the living room with them, and oh god this was way too much attention than what they wanted. They had to go right that minute, or else they might explode from how many people were staring at them.

Bert pushed Gee off of them and nervously got up, saying, “Uhm, I should go, it's uhm late and stuff y’know?”

Gee nodded and didn't stop them, but she looked disappointed. Bert didn't pay too much attention to that, though, they just quickly waved goodbye and left her house.

The cold air blowing into Bert's face as they walked home made them sober up. The wind was making their hair go all over the place and they wished they had remembered to bring a hair tie, dealing with their hair was a nightmare sometimes.

As they walked home, their mind was playing a constant loop of everything that had happened at the party. Gee kissed them, what the fuck. It must have just been a drunken mistake, right? She couldn't actually like them! Bert was so different than her, not to mention they looked like a corpse who had just recently dug itself from the grave, so was still covered in dirt and other gross things. This whole thing made no sense, and they just wanted to be back home in bed and not have to think about this.

When Bert got home, their parents were already asleep so they had to walk quietly to their room so as not to wake them up. They wondered what time it was, not really sure how long they were at the party. They assumed it was pretty late, though, so they just changed back into their pajamas and slipped into bed, groaning softly as the pain in their back protested against lying down. Bert really wished their body wasn't such a fucking mess, it really made things annoying for them.

Bert tried to settle down to sleep, but was stuck tossing and turning until an hour before they were supposed to wake up. They really, really were not looking forward to going to school hungover.

\-----

At school the next day, Bert stayed even more out of sight than they usually did. They didn't want to have Gee talk to them, to have more people stare at them like they had last night. They wished they could turn completely invisible, that would solve so many of their problems.

They also had forgotten to wear a corset today, so they kept having sharp pains up and down their sides and it was very distracting. It felt like something was very wrong with their insides, but they also felt no one would believe them because they could technically live with the pain. Plus, it wasn't constant enough for them to feel it was important, even if the aches and pains had been getting worse recently. They just figured hiding it from everyone would probably be the best course of action, even if it meant they'd probably never get any help for it.

Bert doubted they'd get help for it even if they did tell someone.

It was the end of the school day, and Bert was just happy they would finally be able to go home and sleep. Not to mention the fact that Gee hadn't tried talking to them at all during the day, so hopefully she had just forgotten about Bert already.

Bert tried to ignore the pestering voice in their head that was disappointed that Gee had already forgotten them.

As if on cue, right as Bert was walking out of the school to make their way home, Gee ran up and stopped them, saying, “Yo, wait up!”

Bert froze up, scared to turn around and look directly at Gee. Sadly, she did not stop trying to get Bert's attention, and next thing they knew she was standing in front of them, grinning widely and saying, “Bert! Hey! I was looking for you all day, but I couldn't seem to find you anywhere. Anyways, wanna hang out? Ray stayed home cause he couldn't stop puking from, y’know, drinking so much yesterday so my afternoon is free. You up to it?”

Bert stared at Gee in shock. Not only had she been looking for Bert all day, she also purposely wanted to hang out with them. Before Bert was realizing what they were saying, they blurted out, “Why do you like me?”

Gee shrugged, “You're cute and seem interesting. Anyways! I know this really cool park we could go to. It has like awesome statues and stuff, and I can drop by my house quickly and grab some food. Or not, no pressure.”

“Uhm, yeah okay,” Bert replied softly, still not believing that this was happening, “I’ll go with you to the park. Although I'm not really hungry so uhm, yeah.”

“That's cool! We can just hang out then!” She grabbed Bert's hand and pulled them in the direction of her car, babbling about how pretty this park was and how she always wanted to draw someone sitting in the rose clearing, as she described it.

Bert was kind of in awe of Gee. She had this confidence about her, with her perfectly curled hair and her dark purple lipstick and her short skirts, she was hot and knew it, and knew that everyone else knew it too. She was also so incredibly nice, to the point where Bert was scared this was all just a big prank to mess with the weird kid. It just did not make sense for someone as beautiful as Gee to be interested in someone like Bert.

Gee drove them to the park, still talking on about people and places that Bert had no idea of. They were pretty sure Gee was overestimating how many people Bert knew, but they didn't want to scare her away with how much of a loser they really were.

When they got to the park, Gee opened Bert's door for them and took their hand, pulling them in the direction of an ivy covered archway. She pulled Bert through, grinning widely at them and saying, “Isn't this place gorgeous? I come here to draw a lot. Want me to draw you? You have good features, I’m gonna draw you.”

“You're gonna draw me?” Bert asked, trying to keep up with everything that Gee’s saying.

She turned to look at Bert, a grin wide across her face, and said, “Of course! I really like your features, they'd be quite fun to draw.”

Gee suddenly stopped walking and reached her hand out to tuck a strand of hair behind Bert's ear, saying, “Like, you have really wonderful features, Bert.”

She then leaned in closer and kissed Bert softly, her fingers still tangled in their hair. Bert was still so surprised that Gee wanted to do this, even though technically this wasn't the first time she had kissed them. It had made more sense last night, because they both were drunk and they could add it up to just a drunken mistake. But this... there was no explanation except Gee liked them, which made Bert stressed and confused and overall unsure of what was going on.

Gee pulled away after a minute and smiled slightly, saying, “So, can I draw yah now?”

“Did you just kiss me as a way to bribe me into letting you draw me?” Bert asked.

“Nah, I just felt like kissing you. Come on, though, we're not quite to my favorite spot,” Gee grinned widely and took Bert's hand again, then lead them further down the path, towards what looked like a tunnel made up of large trees. This park really was gorgeous, and Bert wondered how Gee knew about it.

After the tunnel of trees was a small opening that had a large statue in the middle of it, with stone benches circling the statue. Bert realized that the walls of the opening were just tall rose bushes, and they suddenly felt like they were Alice and this was wonderland.

Gee sat down on one of the benches, then started pulling things out of her bag. Bert realized that they were pencils and a sketchbook, which meant she was serious about the wanting to draw them thing.

Bert hesitantly sat next to her, keeping enough space between them just in case it was weird to sit too close to her. Gee looked up at them and grinned, saying, “You look great in this lighting.”

All these compliments Gee kept giving Bert made them want to explode. They weren't used to people talking to them, let alone someone as gorgeous as Gee giving them so many compliments and kissing them and drawing them, what the fuck. This was all so much to take in, and Bert felt like they were gonna throw up. Was that the normal reaction to this sort of thing, or was Bert just weird?

Bert had a sudden, sharp pain in their side, which made them wince and hold their side. Fuck, they hated that sort of pain. They preferred the constant aches above the sharp pains, it was much easier to deal with the aches.

Gee seemed worried, though, which also shocked Bert. Apparently they had made a face when it had happened, and now Gee was scooting closer to them on the bench and saying, “You okay?”

Bert nodded and smiled slightly, trying to ignore the pain as they said, “Yeah, don't worry, this happens sometimes.”

“What's ‘this?’” Gee asked, still looking concerned.

“Uh, I have weird pain in my like, ribs and back and chest and stuff. It's usually just a dull ache, but sometimes- like now- it's more sharp pains and it's harder to ignore,” Bert replied, still holding their side.

Gee reached her hand out and hesitantly touched Bert's side, asking, “Have you gotten it checked out?”

“Nah, well technically I mentioned it to my doctor once or twice but I don't think he believed me. At least, he never asked any questions about it really so I'm assuming he just wasn't taking my concerns seriously. It's kinda also shitty ‘cause now you can visibly see something's up with my ribs but I'm still scared he'll just brush it off again,” Bert replied, sighing softly. It felt weird telling someone about this, and all those swooping feelings in their stomach were coming back ten fold.

“Wait, what do you mean something's visibly wrong with them?” Gee asked, her brow furrowing in a way that made Bert scared that she was upset about this.

Bert just shrugged, trying to play it off as no big deal as they replied with, “Oh, just they look kinda lopsided. Like, one looks lower than the other one or something.”

“Can I see?” Gee asked, her hands resting on the bottom of Bert's shirt, waiting for them to give her the okay. Bert just nodded yes, scared to let her see their body but also figuring it was a good idea to let someone else see. Plus, this way they could confirm it wasn't all in their head, that is if Gee actually saw the weird positions of their ribs.

Bert lifted their shirt up enough for Gee to see, than said, “Wait, it's easier to tell if I'm lying down.”

Gee scooted back down the bench, giving Bert room to lie across the bench. Their back was aggravated by the position, but they just ignored it and lifted up their shirt for Gee to see. She was hovering over them now, looking down at their body with concern.

“Dude, you should get that looked at. They're definitely not right,” She said, gently reaching down to touch Bert's ribs.

“Yeah, but it's probably not that bad.”

“Your ribs look twisted, that's more than ‘not bad.’”

“They aren't twisted...”

“Well, I don't know anything, I’m just saying they definitely look off,” Gee said, sitting back up on the bench.

Bert sat back up too, pulling their shirt back down, “Well, not like I can do anything about it. I doubt my parents would want to spend the money on the doctor, even if they did believe me. I kinda have gotten used to the fact that I'll just live with this, I'm cool with it.”

“It still sucks that you have to do that,” Gee mumbled, picking her sketchbook back up and opening it up to a blank page. She looked up at Bert and said, “Can you look dramatically off into the distance? Or like, look where the arch is, I think that'll be a good angle.”

Bert laughed, but did as she said, looking off to where the arch was. They could hear the sound of pencil against paper, and they badly wanted to see Gee at work. They could guess that she'd look so beautiful like that, all absorbed in her work and not paying much attention to the outside world- at least, not paying attention to anything except whatever it was she was drawing.

Bert still was wondering why Gee suddenly was interested in them, it seemed to come out of nowhere. They bit their lip, trying to build up the courage to ask.

“Why did you kiss me last night? Like, why did you suddenly take interest in me?” Bert asked quietly, glad that they weren't looking directly at Gee as they asked the question.

The pencil sound stopped, the sound around the two of them seemed to stop completely. Maybe Bert was just being dramatic, but they could swear that even the birds stopped chirping. They were about to backpedal, say that it was a stupid question and change the topic, when Gee finally replied.

“I actually had seen you around school a lot, we are in a class together, y’know? I noticed that you always seemed alone, that every single day no one seemed to talk to you. You... kinda interested me, I really wanted to get to know you better. But, there are rumors about you, and I hate to say that I was kinda nervous to approach you. People never say nice things about the quiet kid who has no friends.

“But than you showed up in my kitchen, and it kinda dawned on me that you weren't some violent asshole, you just were really, really nervous all the time, right? So I thought, ‘hey! now is the perfect time to talk to her!’

“I think I kinda got carried away though, and started realizing sometime during the night that I didn't just wanna be your friend, I also wanted to get to know you ‘cause you're really attractive and I had a crush on you. So, uh, yeah. It probably seemed like it came out of nowhere, but it's been building on my side for a while.”

Bert had turned back to face Gee during her response, wanting to watch her as she spoke. She was avoiding eye contact though, and only looked back at them once she had finished talking. She obviously was waiting for a response, so Bert said, “What rumors do people spread about me?”

Gee shrugged, “Most of it is nonsense, things like how you've killed people and the reason no one knows anything about you is because this is a fake identity.”

“Seriously?” Bert laughed. They hadn't known people talked about them at all, they figured no one had noticed them at all, let alone spread rumors about them.

Gee nodded, “Yep, also things like how you're always getting into fights and overall that you're a violent person.”

“Wow, I didn't realize that quiet equals violent. Remind me to be like you and just be overly talkative.”

“Nah, people are just idiots, no need to change for them,” Gee said with a grin.

“Yeah, you're right,” Bert laughed, “I wouldn't be able to change even if I wanted to. Like you said, I just have a lot of anxiety.”

“Well, than it's perfectly reasonable for you to be quiet and stay to yourself,” Gee smiled.

“Exactly,” Bert got quiet for a bit, wanting to also bring up to Gee that they don't use she/her pronouns. They weren't upset at Gee, they knew she just didn't know, they just weren't sure how to form the correct words. A few minutes past in silence, before Bert finally said, “Uh, Gee, one more thing...”

“Yeah?” Gee asked, smiling at them.

“I- I don't use she/her pronouns... I use they/them? I’m genderqueer and... and I'm still kind of a girl, but not enough for me to really consider myself cis. I think I'm closer to genderless than anything else...” Bert was looking away from Gee now, scared of how she might react.

“Oh, yeah, sure! I didn't know, sorry! I’ll make sure to use the correct pronouns from now on,” Gee replied, smiling wide.

Bert looked back up at her, smiling back and saying, “Really?”

“Yeah!” Gee laughed, “Plus, uh, this is kind of a secret, but I'm actually trans. Like, a trans girl? I realized I was trans pretty young, and my parents were surprisingly cool about it, so they put me on puberty blockers and I started transitioning socially pretty early on. By the time I reached high school there was basically no doubt from my peers that I wasn't a cis girl.”

“Wait, really? I had no idea!” Bert replied excitedly. They couldn't believe this! Not only was Gee into them, and accepting of the fact that they weren't cis, but she also wasn't cia herself. This was the ideal situation and Bert was starting to get scared that this wasn't real, that they just got way too carried away in yet another daydream.

“Yeah! Only like, Ray and my brother, Mikey, know, so I wasn't expecting you to know,” Gee giggled, “This all kinda makes it so I can't really date anyone, at least no one cis, ‘cause I'd be too scared they’d find out and freak out. But, I trust you.”

Bert grinned and kissed Gee on the cheek, saying, “I trust you too. At least, as much as I can trust anyone.”

Gee blushed and turned to face Bert completely, than leaned in and kissed them softly. They stayed like that for a while, surrounded by the rose bushes that were rising high above them, the scent of roses making all this feel so dreamlike.

The swooping, sick feeling was back in Bert's stomach, but it wasn't the usual sick feeling. It was a different type of nausea, one Bert had never felt before. Something about being with Gee made them feel so wonderful, and they never really wanted this feeling to go away.

**Author's Note:**

> Casper? shipping gerbert and frerard? its more likely than u think
> 
> anywayysss feel free to leave comments and kudos if u enjoy !! they make me thrive i love hearing from yall
> 
> also! hmu on tumblr (queercassianandor), twitter (Allergrcat), instagram (artsy_vampire), and/or snapchat (artsy_vampire) if yah wanna talk!!
> 
> oh! and let me know if yall wanna see more fics with these characters, cause this was super fun to write so I'm always down to write more with them! just lmk if thats something yall would be interested in!
> 
> have a nice day!!


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